Time goes by fast, it isn't until time is jeopardy that you realize how important every moment is in your life. It's been three years since I found myself in a hospital bed with the inability to move or breathe on my own.
Few moments in my life were as hard as those few weeks in that hospital, I'm not sure if anything in my life will ever be that difficult. I remember just sitting in the ICU and hearing my dad on the phone tell me that everything was going to be ok. At the time, I didn't honestly believe that but I just went with it. There's not much else I could do though and I knew it was the best he could do for me. Staring death in the face and thinking there's nothing you can do about it is a frightening experience, I was helpless. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet though and accept life for what it is.
It's been three years though since I had Guillain Barre Syndrome. It's seem crazy that I can remember every small detail as if it happened a week ago. I remember slumped in my bed the night before I went to the hospital wondering what was wrong with me. I remember looking at a bottle of Mountain Dew in my bedroom that night and wanting to drink it just for a slight bit of refreshment but being unable to open it since my fingers couldn't even hold the bottle. I ended up opening it though and holding the bottle at the sides with my hands and letting the cool liquid go down my throat. It was probably a good idea though, I wasn't able to drink anything for over a week after that.
I can recall the incredible amount of pain I experienced in every point in my body. I remember how I spent nights just watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air because it was the only thing worthwhile on a tv in a Children's Hospital. I remember that I watched Elf just about a million times because it was on repeat on the hospital's movie channel. Every feeling and emotion is clear as day to me though that I experienced those few weeks.
I can easily recall that glorious time going home from the hospital. After three weeks of being locked up in a room barely able to move my arms and leg, Appleton never looked so beautiful. Going past the Fox River Mall was like Christmas to me that one day, probably better than any Christmas actually. I don't even like that mall that much but driving past it seeing the lights of the Fox River Mall was a sign that I knew I was home finally.
Terrible experiences like this though, they're a reward in some sense. Looking back on it, I appreciate the knowledge I gained from it. Never in my 16-year-old self did I ever imagine that I would be hear at BYU. Life is never what you expect it to be and at every moment you just have to take things for what they are.
On that note, I'm off to get a Mountain Dew to quench the exact thirst I experienced as I sat sadly in my bed that fateful night.
2 comments:
I remember when I was at the hospital with Mom and Dad- and Dad said that you had picked to watch "Million Dollar Baby" one night. And Dad and I said, "That's like one of the worst movies to be watching in a hospital."
I finally watched it this year, it was a good movie!
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